Tag Archives: loss

The Impact of One Life

How often do people dread the date on a calendar? Never in my life have I ever stopped to ask that question before. If I’ve dreaded a date, that’s what I did. I dreaded it. But like I said, I’ve never stopped to actually think about how often people dread a date on a calendar.
I’ve dreaded exam dates before. I’ve dreaded awkward and/or painful doctor’s appointments before. But this is the first time I’ve ever dreaded this date.

May 23rd. Last year, it fell on a Thursday, and I didn’t know any better. This year it falls on a Friday, and I wish it didn’t exist. If it didn’t exist, maybe the events that day would’ve never happened? It’s the date that one of my best friends left this earth. For almost a year now, anytime someone asks “What’s today’s date?” and it happens to be the 23rd, I always pause and go “It’s been (insert number) months since I last talked to him.” “It’s been (insert number) months since he’s smiled on this earth.”
I still wonder and I still don’t understand why he’s no longer here. I mean, I do. It was a car accident. It was bad. He died.
But…. I also just don’t get it. It’s something that I’ve had to think about a lot over the past 11+ months and I still have no answers.

There aren’t any guarantees that there will ever be any earthly answers to many of the questions I have, but I just hope that I’ll find more peace as I keep traveling in this life that is no longer his to be part of.

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Wandering thoughts, surprising finds.

It’s beautiful, it’s warm, and I’m reflecting on where my life is headed and where I’ve come from.

Then I wonder how you are. What’s new with you? I haven’t heard one of your funny stories in a while. I know something exciting has happened in your life because you’re just that kind of person.

I check for your footprint, a text that I probably missed again (we’re no strangers to this game). Maybe you sent me another song to add to our list. Weren’t we supposed to plan out the routes for the roadtrips? No, we were still discussing the latest “game,” right?

Oh.

How odd. My life goes on. How can that be?

You’re not here to live on with me.