Every time I see pictures of him looking tired, I’m afraid the cancer is back.
Ulu is one of the people that my blog was created for even though I didn’t know it at the time that this blog was created. When I created this blog I started with the foundation that people can affect you negatively or positively and it would still influence you to become who you are today. I’m glad to say that Ulu is one person who has positively influenced me.
For the longest time, Ulu and I thought that one hated the other and only in my last couple of months working at the bakery did we really get to know each other. Of course we were both like “I thought you hated me!” so we wasted all that time not being friends when we could’ve been.
In the short time that I’ve known Ulu, I’ve realized how similar we are and I didn’t feel like quite an anomaly. Ulu’s quick wit and joking manner has set me at ease even though most of the time I feel like she’s making fun of me.
Thanks for being willing to be my friend, Ulu. I don’t know many people whose heart is truer than yours. Even though you don’t show it, I know that you’re so full of love; the fierce kind of love that will always fight for the people you care for. I want you to know that you have been a great example to me and have encouraged in not only my relationships with other people, but also my testimony of the Gospel.
Even though we no longer work together, I plan on keeping in contact with you and becoming even greater friends. There are many nights of long-boarding, swimming, and jamming ahead of us! I love you Ulu!
Okay we can go back to not being sappy now. 😉
For a little while now my mornings haven’t been quite the same. At the end of the day I like to think of the things I didn’t get accomplished and I vow that I will get x, y, and z done the next day. I So I wake up, get the first thing on my list done, and then the baby gets up and then forget it—all my planning from the night before was for nothing.
Now, before those of you who know me freak out, she’s not my baby. You definitely didn’t miss the big news that I was pregnant, carried for about 9 months and had a baby. Heck, for that matter, you definitely didn’t miss the announcement about me having someone to have a baby with.
Moving on! My baby cousin who’s really almost 2 and not really a baby makes my mornings so happy even if I don’t get much if what I planned done because I’m hanging out with her.
If I’m not getting certain things done though, I’m always learning and re-learning so much.
You know, it seems as though since I’m getting older, I should be far wiser than this little human. Boy am I wrong. If we were lightbulbs, she’d be the brand new, shiny and bright light bulb, and I’m the one who has grime on the surface and I’m not shining quite as brightly. You can see the shiny in her eyes! They sparkle and she gets excited about the little bird taking a dust bath. She will stop listening to you the second she hears the street sweeper coming and she cocks her head slightly, listening. Then she’ll start spinning her hands and making this whooshing noise to depict the brushes underneath the vehicle.
Over the years I’ve forgotten that little birds like to flit around in the dust. Do I even know what a street sweeper sounds like anymore? No, it’s just noise to me, while Baby M———– can show you the difference between what a street sweeper sounds like and what the garbage truck sounds like.
I’m not a mother and I’m not at that stage in life yet, but I’m so grateful for the time I have with this little person because she’s helping my get my shiny back.
How often do people dread the date on a calendar? Never in my life have I ever stopped to ask that question before. If I’ve dreaded a date, that’s what I did. I dreaded it. But like I said, I’ve never stopped to actually think about how often people dread a date on a calendar.
I’ve dreaded exam dates before. I’ve dreaded awkward and/or painful doctor’s appointments before. But this is the first time I’ve ever dreaded this date.
May 23rd. Last year, it fell on a Thursday, and I didn’t know any better. This year it falls on a Friday, and I wish it didn’t exist. If it didn’t exist, maybe the events that day would’ve never happened? It’s the date that one of my best friends left this earth. For almost a year now, anytime someone asks “What’s today’s date?” and it happens to be the 23rd, I always pause and go “It’s been (insert number) months since I last talked to him.” “It’s been (insert number) months since he’s smiled on this earth.”
I still wonder and I still don’t understand why he’s no longer here. I mean, I do. It was a car accident. It was bad. He died.
But…. I also just don’t get it. It’s something that I’ve had to think about a lot over the past 11+ months and I still have no answers.
There aren’t any guarantees that there will ever be any earthly answers to many of the questions I have, but I just hope that I’ll find more peace as I keep traveling in this life that is no longer his to be part of.
“I got the call out of the blue. In movies when something tragic happens, the music cuts out and the camera pans in on the main character’s shocked face. Well, that was me. Hanging out with a friend at college watching Harry Potter is not the time that you expect to hear that someone you love tried to kill themselves.”
Pick somebody: my mom.
Quality: I lose track of time with her in the best way.
My favourite time spent with my mom has always been spent just talking. It doesn’t matter where.
Her in the driver’s seat, me riding shotgun; and later on, me in the driver’s seat and my mom riding shotgun.
In this country, or thousands of miles away on a little tropical, middle-of-nowhere island.
At a McDonald’s at 3am, or at a 3rd story apartment kitchen table at 3am.
My father was always shaking his head and saying “Go to bed, you have to be up in 2 hours!” “You done with that paper? Time for bed.” Then came the resigned words as this became a habit, “Don’t stay up too late..”
After being away from my mom for 3 months (quite the eternity for us) we got back into full swing last night, talking about life and love and trials and faith and direction. I could’ve sworn we were only chatting for 30 minutes but according to the clock, we were talking for 4 hours. I’ve forgotten how much I crave the time we lose together.
We like to give new, slightly different meaning to “burning the midnight oil.”
Oh my poor father. (;
“We’re watching a documentary about fonts. ..”
who knew there was such a thing!