Category Archives: Lifestyle

A Little Universe Therapy

Hello Universe! It’s been a while but right now, at 1:30 AM, it feels like the right time to write another post. Doggone you inspiration and desire-to-write! Why not choose a better time in the day?! Ohh. Right. There is no better time! February has been such an incredibly busy month and we’re only a week in! It feels even more hectic because it’s one of those months where our brains are wired to go “holidays passed, the first month of the year crazies have happened, so February is the month to ease into the new year!” Well, maybe that’s just my train of thought, but all the same, the reality of February is especially garish compared to the dreamy montage I had in mind where we calmly and romantically sauntered into spring and the possibilities of the new year.

Airhorn blast

Okay, thanks, I needed that wake-up call. I don’t even want to think about what’s lined up the rest of the month but I do have to because there’s a certain level of planning and anticipation that we all need to devote to certain aspects of our lives and schedules for them to even happen. Just being real here. My sisters and I dance hula at gigs here and there and we have a few this month, I have people coming into town, a trainer I’m paying for that I need to make sure I’m prioritizing my workouts when we don’t have our sessions, rehearsals, assessments, reading assignments, teaching for my church calling. I’m working on expanding my small business and I’m trying to iron out all the business and creative logistics of that, it’s an incredibly important month for stats at my day job, I’m wanting to spend time with my friends, take some time to follow-up on some long term goals of mine… I haven’t even talked about the regular day to day things like meal planning, laundry, etc.

Gah! As stressful as that was, hashing out all those things and confronting my to-do list is actually therapeutic. I’m the kind of person that needs to know what is going on and what the next steps are so I can keep this wagon moving in the right direction. I set things up on a timeline and I work on what’s going on now, set a skeleton plan for the rest, and wait until I get there to execute the plan. Great? Crazy? A little bit of both? Yeah, I’m not sure exactly what category my energy and time management skills fall under but all I know is I take it one day at a time and I’ll sure be needing your prayers and a really nice calendar or agenda book! (Also ice cream won’t hurt! Wink, wink!)

Thank you for being such a good listener, Universe!

I’m off to share my thoughts to my Heavenly Father in prayer, and then to my pillow too!

Gray Area, Singular

I don’t know how to start this but perhaps I should start by setting minds at ease. No, I don’t have cancer or other lesser known incurable illnesses, and yes, there’s something I can still do about it.

I had a doctor’s appointment today and beforehand I was super worked up and this time not the general “I hate doctor’s and doctor’s offices” kind of anxiety. I had been feeling off for a while now and suspected that I could possibly have diabetes and today that was confirmed. Well… sort of. My doctor called it a “gray area” because some doctors say that at this point a patient would definitely be diabetic, while other doctors — including mine — say that we are not quiiiteee diabetic but are “pre-diabetic.”*

Let me back it up a little bit. As a Pacific Islander, my risk of diabetes is higher, and I have a history of diabetes in my family. (Needless to say, I always hate when people who are about to chow down on something too sugary/unhealthy joke that they are having diabetes for dessert.) Today, we took an initial first test and while that got whisked off, my doctor and I were having our usual chat/check-up when another lady pops her head in and tells my doctor a number. We stopped talking about whatever it was we were talking about and my doctor says that I am “pre-diabetic.” There’s not much that I know about these things so I’m confused about the numbers at first, but those words put it into perspective.

It’s like they say, it’s one thing to know and another to hear it said out loud. This doesn’t change your life in any way, but it does mine. Using numbers, I can tell you that I am .2%* away from the official diagnoses for diabetes. Using words, my doctor said that I need to “Act like I’m diabetic. Eat like I’m diabetic, exercise like I’m diabetic, live like I’m diabetic.”

That’s for sure going to be hard. And so far, this post is the first that I’ve said about any of this, other than to my family. I’m not super psyched about being so public about it, but I wanted to make this an opportunity to make it known in some capacity so I would feel even more accountable to good behavior on my part and really living life like I am diabetic. Someone very close to me said that at one point they were told that they were “pre-diabetic” and that they were in denial about it for so long because they “didn’t want to have diabetes” and never did anything about it and now their numbers are off the charts. So far, I’m doing okay. The nurse brought in the diabetes kit and my doctor sent it away so I didn’t come home with one today. What this means for me though is a change of lifestyle and for sure, a kick in the behind.

Not coming home with a kit almost felt really great. It means that they’re not seeing proteins where there shouldn’t be proteins or any damage to any organs in my body. I said it “almost” felt really great because there’s still a lot I have to do on my end to really feel great about not having the kit. I’ve been prescribed diabetes school (which I didn’t realize existed) and sent home with lots of handouts on measures I need to be taking to make sure I don’t have to come home with that kit.

I’ve already starting making some of those changes this very evening and made this post to acknowledge and put to words what perhaps my mind can’t/won’t comprehend. Life changes are good sometimes and changing my lifestyle to combat diabetes is one of them if I make sure to stick to it.

This is as far as the gray area goes. What I do to make sure I’m in the clear is now black or white.

Thanks to those of you still reading my blog and keeping up with my sporadic posts. For those that know me and that read my blog, sorry I won’t necessarily get the chance to chat with each of you personally about this (or any other post for that matter) and I appreciate your discretion and sensitivity to the fact that I might not want to talk about these things in person/all the time.

*terms and stats are as accurate as they were described to me by my healthcare provider.

Love, Man

{I will post the funnier side of the doctor’s appointment at some point so we (and by we I mean I) are not so bogged down by heavier matters.}

Feeling Human Again

Here’s the thing about routines. When they become monotonous they can tend to drain you and make you feel a little lost.

Lately I don’t know what it is. I don’t feel nostalgic. That’s not quite the word for it, so maybe “lost” is a proper way to term it.

I am so busy but not in the creative way that gives me a sense of… well, me. I’m busy with the necessary, but perhaps not inspiring aspects of my life.

Tonight I’ve decided that I’m going to take a page from those tumblr posts, those tweets, those bucket list memes, and make a list of my own to get done.

My one rule is that I can’t put things on this list that are part of my anxious day to day thoughts. For example, I’m not going to put “Return books to the library, go to the DMV, schedule doctors appointment…” You get it, right?

Instead, it’s going to include things like:

-Take a walk all the way around the lake right outside your window (I’ve lived here for 5 months and I’ve only seen it from afar)

-Spend an evening in the outdoor hot tub

-Take a blanket out and watch the stars on a clear night

Still getting the picture?

I seem to always have time to worry about the things that NEED to get done, so I’m hoping that by making this list, I’ll be able to find myself, feel peace, and feel more connected to the creative and whimsical part of me.

INTRODUCING BABY! Okay, not really.

dudes! who the heck am I?

i feel like i should warn you that what you are about to read will show you how pathetic my life can be at points… which is to say… as of late, pretty pathetic.

i had a lot of free time today because i didn’t have classes or a social event i’d grudgingly be obliged to go to, so i spent a lot of time on the internet!

it wasn’t alll unproductive! i spent time studying up before a huge, huge, huge 4 part exam next week (wheee!),
started teaching myself basic HTML coding, researched camp sites for an impromptu family camping trip this weekend(i know, so last minute), donated money to a friends fundraiser in donor of her uncle who passed away from Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), tried to make progress with my other blog’s layout and appearance, researched a few art pieces that i’m really hoping to find, and last but definitely most unproductive of all, i watched mommy vlogs on youtube.

now i say unproductive because i’m currently not expecting or expecting to be expecting. i’m not married, and there’s not even a guy in picture y’all! this means i didnt really have use for baby checklists in the final weeks, etc

but ohmygoodness! they have been so fun and funny and i could just see me and my girlfriends in the future having to deal with all those shenanigans.

there was one video in particular that i was watching that made me laugh so hard! after i cooled down from laughing so much, i realized that i had spent an inordinate amount of time watching videos i didn’t have any practical use for… yet, but really cant wait for all that crazy mom stuff to happen to me! hence, the pathetic (in an endearing way)

if i’m already being honest and telling you all this, i might as well admit that i mostly wrote this post because as i was watching the above mentioned video, i could picture one girlfriend of mine in particular who would most definitely do this with me. so of course i shot her a quick text, but seeing as she has a life, she didn’t respond until halfway through this post! i get impatient when i’m giddy!

oh well! i can’t wait for motherhood and all its messes—really!

enjoy the video that inspired this post! be sure to read the email in the video description because that’s exactly the type of conversations my girlfriend and i have!