Little by little I’m coming back to blogging and sharing thoughts and stories with you!
Yesterday I met up with Person X at a restaurant. X had asked me to tutor her and she was feeling desperate so I met up with her but brought my little sister along because we were having a sister date afterwards and it didn’t make sense to go back and get her afterwards. We walk into the restaurant and X is already there. I say hi and introduce my sister, who then does her own thing for an hour and a half, while we do our work.
Today I saw her again, this time sans sister, and she says, “Oh my gosh your sister looks nothing like you!” Alright. That’s fair. I don’t have to look like her!
We have a few minutes before we have to be to class so we’re on our phones showing each other pictures of family members. For the next 5 minutes she says “I don’t see it!” “They all have the same nose!” “You don’t look anything like them!” “No seriously. Nothing like them.” All of which I take very politely. I mean, whatever, it’s not a huge deal. Looks are subjective. There are people that I’ve know for 8 years and they still collectively refer to my sisters and I as “the Raza Girls” because they can’t tell us apart. Which, I don’t get, but like I said, subjective. Then there are the people who are like, “Whoa! You’re all sisters? ALL of you? You looked similar so I thought maybe cousins! That’s kinda cool!”
I’ve heard a variety of reactions, however, X was taking it to a level I’ve never heard before. After repeatedly telling me that I look nothing like my family, she goes on to say “Haha maybe you’re adopted!” laugh laugh giggle giggle
I couldn’t believe it. What if I am? What if I’m not? What if I am but no one has told me? What if what if? “It’s okay you can tell me. I won’t tell.” Um excuse me? “Go home and ask if you are!!! Hahaha” Incessant laughing
It’s “jokes” like these that drive me insane! Just saying something and laughing about it or maybe adding a punch line doesn’t make it a joke.
Consider some tact, humanity! For the love of all that is good and holy, think before you speak.
“Jokes” about being gay. Don’t do it. “Jokes” about abortion. Don’t do it. “Jokes” about eating disorders. Don’t do it.
“Jokes” about being adopted. Don’t do it.
The list goes on. Just stop.
I remember in middle school the hallways were full of “yo mama is so…” “Yo mama (this), yo mama (that).”
I never really liked them because I just didn’t, but then my best friend’s mother passed away and it took on a whole new meaning. I didn’t and still don’t want to hear “funny” jokes about somebody’s mama being so skinny that they turned sideways and disappeared. My best friend’s mother is not on this earth anymore. To this day, anytime I hear a yo mama joke I can’t help but think “while you’re disrespecting hypothetical or real mamas, there are people who would cringe to hear that because they don’t have their mamas anymore.”
Some might say, “calm down, it’s just a joke!” or “live a little,” or “pull the stick out honey, and loosen up!” I’m not always the world’s most easy going person, I acknowledge that, but when it comes to matters like these, no thank you. I prefer to stand by my opinions.